Source: Reddit/AITA/Unsplash/Vitaly Gariev

Money has caused plenty of problems in marriages through the years.

This story from Reddit is another example, with the author relaying her displeasure over her husband taking a job that’s fulfilling in every way but their bank account.

Let’s take a look!

So I (32F) and my husband (29M) live in an area with an extremely high cost of living. I work a job that pays decently well, which is kind of necessary to live where we do.

My husband worked a job for years that paid less than mine did, but was okay overall, though he absolutely hated working there.

The husband has been making sacrifices to support their lifestyle, but what happens when he decides that no longer works for him?

Around October of last year, my husband managed to get a job in his dream career field. He had been working at it for years, and was really excited about finally getting there.

Congrats are in order! Or are they?

The big issue is, the pay in his field is abysmal. He works as a freelancer (which is standard in his industry) so his job has zero benefits, and it’s a pretty significant pay cut from his old job.

We don’t have combined finances, and after he took the new job, we had to rearrange how we pay for things to account for his lower income.

Previously, he had covered a slightly larger percentage of the expenses due to me having student loans to pay off while he didn’t. As it is now, I have to be the breadwinner since his income was basically halved, paying for a larger portion of the expenses.

It sounds like the roles have reversed, and that they’ve each taken a turn sacrificing for the other. That should work for their relationship, until it doesn’t.

I sat him down recently and told him I felt he needed to quit his job and find a better-paying field because it just wasn’t feasible.


He got upset, since like I said, this is something he’s dreamed of for years and worked really hard to get, which I understand. But I just feel this isn’t fair to me.

We’ve had to cut back on a lot of things and there’s not really any sign of a pay increase at this point. I feel like I’m carrying him.

Didn’t he carry her? Turn about is fair play.

He offered to get a part-time job on the side, but I know anything he could get that wouldn’t be feasible for him while keeping his current job wouldn’t provide much.

He suggested we move somewhere less expensive, to which I said absolutely not, since we’d have to go quite a ways to find something in that range and it’d mean ridiculously long commutes to my work and being further away from my family.

He offered to have his parents help, which I don’t want because it’s not a long-term solution.

Sounds like the husband has offered multiple solutions, but the wife is sticking to her guns.

He’s extremely upset, and I understand it, because I know he worked hard to get here. If he quit now, it’d basically kill his career and it would be extremely hard for him to get another shot at this job.

It’s not like we’re struggling, which is true, we can pay rent and put food on the table, but I hate feeling like this. I work long days at a rather difficult job, while he works from home doing something he did before as a hobby and only makes half as much money now.

She’s jealous that he has a job he loves while she is doing something “harder” in order to support the family.

My point is that it’s not like he has to stop doing what he does altogether, since as I mentioned, he did it as a hobby beforehand, but he’s upset because he said this is the only thing he’s ever wanted to do career-wise and giving it up now would mean he likely never would be able to make it work.

AITA? I understand this is important to him but I’m starting to resent him because I feel like the burden of our finances are being placed on me and we’ve had to cut back on a lot of things.

This is a loaded one. I am sure the folks at Reddit will have something to say about her feelings. Let’s take a look at some of the comments.

Top comment says it’s the author’s turn, and she’s in the wrong here.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another person suggests to give it some time and see if his job turns into a career.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another wonders why she can’t be happy for her husband’s happiness?

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another commenter wonders why our author being the breadwinner is such a problem for her.

Source: Reddit/AITA

One comment went so far as to say this marriage seems doomed.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Why can’t they find a compromise, asks this commenter.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This author might be used to a certain lifestyle, but it’s time for her to reexamine her priorities!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.