Some plans in life are very personal to an individual and they do not want them to be delayed or hindered. But sometimes, they are torn between fulfilling their wishes and looking out for their loved one’s feelings. Something similar happened with u/AudDMurphy, a 39-year-old man. He shared the whole incident on Reddit. The man had been planning a “milestone” trip for a long time since a person gets to be “40” once. However, when his girlfriend expressed a desire to join him on the trip despite not being able to afford even part of the expenses herself, he wondered if he was wrong for wanting to go through with the vacation alone.

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Polina Zimmerman
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Polina Zimmerman

The man and his 33-year-old girlfriend were happy in their three-month-old relationship. Things were going well between the couple until the man brought up the topic of his 40th birthday. “Next year, I turn 40. And I’ve never taken an actual vacation. I’ve extended work trips to do something fun where I am. I’ve traveled to visit friends or family,” the man shared. Now, he wants to take a week-long trip just to have fun and relax. “My criteria is that the trip needs to be at least a week and be international,” he added. 

 

“I’ve also worked hard to get my finances in shape since my 20s. Now I have a decent business and some money set aside and I feel like I’m ready for a trip and next year would be a great opportunity as it is a milestone birthday,” the man remarked. “My girlfriend is great. She works hard and supports herself. But she doesn’t make as much money and, most importantly, is currently saddled with around $20k in credit card debt arising from a period of unexpected unemployment,” he shared, revealing how the woman was forced to live off her savings and take a credit card debt.

“When the topic of this trip came up, she first asked if she could go. I said sure. She then asked if we could go to Vegas. I told her about my desire for this to be an international trip. Then she expressed concern over whether she could afford it while in debt,” he recounted. He offered to cover the lodging expenses and half of her flight expenses. “Because we haven’t been dating long, I don’t feel comfortable paying her the whole way and feel she should contribute financially to come along,” the man wrote, expressing his concern. “She then told me she didn’t feel she could afford to cover meals + half airfare even if I went somewhere relatively cheap,” he added.

 

“So I said that I understood, but I also have been wanting to do this milestone birthday thing for a while now and I still intend to go even if just by myself and would only be gone a week,” the man pointed out. It led to an argument between the couple and the girlfriend got upset. The man’s friends and families are split between encouraging him to go ahead with something he has been planning for so long and feeling that he shouldn’t be planning a trip in front of a person who has debt to pay. So, the man took to Reddit for answers.

Image Source: Reddit | u/Any-Purpose-453
Image Source: Reddit | u/Any-Purpose-453
Image Source: Reddit | u/KillaGDawg
Image Source: Reddit | u/KillaGDawg

People in the comments felt the man should go on that trip, even if he has to go alone. u/1568314 wrote, “Three months and she expects you to either pay for her to go on an international, week-long vacation or change your long-term, bucket-list plans to suit her? You’ve got too much of your own life to let yourself be held back by someone you’re barely invested in.”

u/wandering_salad commented, “MATE, RUN. This woman gives zero fs about you and your life and your plans! Her attitude is, ‘If I can’t be part of the fun, he doesn’t get to have fun without me.’ Who does that? It is not someone who cares about you. RUN.” u/EmphaticallyWrong remarked, “At three months, I don’t think I would feel comfortable taking an international trip with someone. That’s a big step. I would never dream of asking someone to pay for it after three months! Take the trip by yourself, enjoy your bucket list moment and have another trip with her that is shorter and closer to home.”